Enneagram – What’s your Type?
Four years ago, I went on a retreat with 6 other women to spend a weekend with my friend and Certified Life Coach, Margo Montgomery to learn about the Enneagram.
The Enneagram is defined as a system of classifying personality types that is based on a nine-pointed star-like figure inscribed within a circle in which each of the nine points represents a personality type and its psychological motivations (such as the need to be right or helpful) influencing a person’s emotions, attitudes, and behavior.
If you are a regular follower of our blog you know that self-reflection and living a life of intention has been a cornerstone in my foundation for many years. As a student of human behavior, I’m continually interested in learning more about myself as well as what makes others tick. So, I embarked on a discovery journey to learn about the Enneagram. I had heard about it for years, but it was put in my “interested to learn about at some point – but not now box” until that weekend in January.
What if I told you that weekend radically changed the way I looked at myself, my relationship with Steve, my children, my partnership with Jane … basically how I viewed the world
I walked away with a deep understanding about where my passion for inclusion stems from, why have I often have vulnerability hangovers along with my natural impulse to get things going. After that weekend, I’ve started to view myself with more compassion and less judgement.
Intrigued?
If you are, I asked my friend Margo to give you a brief overview of the Enneagram and learn how by deepening your understanding of yourself, you can foster a deeper connection with others.
Do you ever wonder why people don’t think like you? Well, there are 8 other ways that people think, feel and experience everyday life way differently than you. The Enneagram, a personality system, points out 9 different ways people think, feel and act. Maybe you have noticed when you are on the internet and things pop up on your screen that you have looked at before and were interested in but didn’t buy. They keep popping up, right? They know your patterns, what you like! Yes, just like the river has tides and the planets revolve around the sun and the birds migrate- everything living is patterned and so are you. However, what is interesting about humans is only ¼ of what we think, feel and do is conscious which means that we are basically run by our unconscious beliefs and patterns. They are in the driver seat, and you aren’t even aware of it.
Let me try and make this clearer with a metaphor using 9 different pairs of colored glasses like the 9 Enneagram Personality Types
Imagine you were born with a red pair of glasses glued to your head and I was born with blue glasses. Neither of us knew that we saw our color better than other people because we aren’t aware that the glasses are on our head. It’s great to see the color we see, it’s a great gift but there are 8 other possible colors you could see too! You are seeing the world as a distortion if you only see the world with one colored lens, 1/9th of what is possible. So, this is what the Enneagram teaches us. We have been limiting ourselves. After all, wouldn’t you like to try the other colors or have no glasses on at all? You would see a greater truth, a truer picture of reality and therefore it is likely you would make better decisions and choices in your life.
When you take an Enneagram Assessment you will learn your Type out of the 9 and your patterns of thought, feeling and acting. These patterns were developed early in your life and was how you received love and attention in your family. But as you grew to an adult some of those patterns don’t work as well in the world like they did in your family of origin. Noticing your Type patterns means you can now move them into the passenger seat where they belong, and you can choose them when they serve you and put them to the side when they don’t.
Using the Enneagram has been an amazing tool for various situations. I’ve used it in my marriage to wade through difficult conversations, and with my children to have a deeper understanding of their patterns and listening filters. When I began this Enneagram journey, I had no idea how it would change my life.
So, with three adult children heading home last July, I decided it was a perfect opportunity for us to connect with each to each other on a deeper level.
My children and husband (much to their chagrin) know that deep inquiry feeds my soul. While these conversations can be emotionally-charged and at times provocative, they often lead to deeper connection. I’ve likened our family to a tribe and want each of them to understand the interconnectedness of our lives together.
I also understand that as the mother, my role is transitioning and deepening, as we grow into the next chapter of adult relationships
Each person took the enneagram test and together we sat on a Zoom call while Margo shared the type structure. She then joined us for a four-hour marathon, where we explored our patterns with each other…
Margo asked questions such as.
- What does it feel like to be you?
- What does family mean to you?
- How could your type be of service to each other?
- Using the type structure what don’t you want input on from your family?
It was an incredible experience.
We walked away as a family with a renewed commitment to foster the growth of not only ourselves as individuals, but the collective whole.
This month for fun, Jane will be exploring the Enneagram of Eating! Bon Appetit!
Author’s Note…
To learn more about the tool and/or take the assessment go to Enneagram.is.
To learn more about your type structure or join a class I highly recommend contacting Margo at Mmontgomery425@gmail.com or go to her website: Margomontgomerycoaching.com.
Zen Moment
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” –
Søren Kierkegaard
