Our Other Mothers

My Mother was approaching her 40th birthday when I was born.

The family lore is that my birth came with an aura of joy and happiness.  And no one was more excited than my 11 year old sister, Ann. After 11 years of being chased by a big brother she wanted a baby sister.

But after my birth, 53 years ago, she soon realized that she had really been dreaming about an older sister.

Sort of like the excitement of getting a new puppy until they chew up your favorite pair of shoes, or in my sister’s case, returning home and finding the prized cake she made in her home economics class devoid of all frosting (a bad habit of mine that continues to this day) – her excitement and joy turned swiftly to disappointment and then annoyance. 

For Annie, I was at best a mixed blessing – loving my naughtiness, but feeling irritated and tethered since Mom and Dad found no issue maintaining their busy (albeit tamer) “Mad Men-esque” social schedule now that they had a built in baby-sitter.

With our large age gap we had many years where our relationship ebbed and flowed. Then, when she was 24 years old and back in town (newly employed as a consultant at Andersen Consulting) she invited 13 year old me to a “sister dinner” at a fancy restaurant in Chicago. Looking back I imagine it was probably her take home salary for a week and I fondly remember that evening as the start of a new chapter in our relationship.

With both our parents gone I can’t really imagine a life without her. Her honest and pragmatic approach to life, mixed in with a fierce loyalty and protectiveness, help keep me whole. As women, we can’t live without our sisters – the ones that we are born with and the ones we find and love along the journey.

So as I sit and reflect on my beautiful mother and miss her presence, I feel so grateful for the other Mother in my life, my sister, my Annie…

Wishing all of you a beautiful Mother’s day with all of your Mothers.

Zen Moment

“You keep your past by having sisters.  As you get older, they’re the only ones who don’t get bored if you talk about your memories.”

-Deborah Moggach