Packing up Doug – Part 2

For all of you who have been sharing my parenting journey you may remember that 4 years ago I packed up Doug so he could attend his long awaited dream of attending college.   My post from August 2015 is below.

Steve and I have often reflected on what gifts we can truly give our children.  

While there are the coveted gifts of a new bike, skateboard or a funky pair of jeans … both of us grew up in homes that place a much higher value on “non-material” goods. We know that while those gifts are initially exhilarating the excitement you feel is temporary.

So we have tried to give our children a “rock” to hold on to and a “foundation” to grow from, which in this day and age is much harder to achieve. What is the “rock” – your faith and the foundation “your family, education and friends.”

It is with these gifts we begin to pack up Doug…

Even as I write the title, I tear up thinking about sending my middle son Doug off to college. He has taught me how to really live over the past 20 years, and I’ll never really be able to adequately thank him for his amazing insight and loving kindness.

Many of you know Doug had a difficult and rocky start, but with the help from some amazing teachers at Cherokee Elementary followed by Lake Forest High School, and then in between, a gift from above, The Cove School, he became more steady. As time passed, he has now become as a 6′ 3″ young man who walks with a proud and confident gait. 

He also benefitted from growing up around amazing friends who made sure he had a buddy at Halloween (thank you Rosanne) and a best friend (thank you Corey.)  And he has had a church family that he can call home.

I know I’m not alone on this part of the parenting journey.  

For some of us (I’ve experienced this too) “it’s time” for your birds to fly the nest. The late nights and even later mornings, cars/doors/friends – your children just need more space to grow than you can give them.

For others their enthusiasm and rhythm really leave a void in your home and one that can’t be replaced. It’s a shift.  In time your home will find a new beat, but it can be a slow process.

And for some the “gift of time” is their next step. Not ready to fly, but ready to slowly transition to adulthood. They need more time and you do too. Time to transition to a new life, but not ready to be far from home.

So while I know the next few months will be quieter and more mellow with an even more focused eye on the last bird in the nest (sorry Lucy), I know it’s time for Doug to fly.

Part 2

Next month, Doug comes home.  He is stronger, taller and even more confident. 

Through the support of his friends and mentors at the College of Charleston’s REACH program he is ready to embrace his next chapter. There have been bumps along the road, but I couldn’t be more proud of the young man he has become. His enthusiasm for life has shone through the various internships he has had in Charleston. He also picked up extra jobs along the way in the admissions office, setting up movies on campus and his latest endeavor at 5 Guys. He became a Cougar ambassador and be-friended students from all of the world; he participated in the annual 5K Cooper River Bridge run and proudly shared all of his slow cooking meals in our family group chat.

Why all the detail? 

I wanted to share these highlights for all the moms who are also on an exceptional parenting journey. We have been gifted the opportunity to understand at a deep level that not all paths are straight and it’s our ability to help our children navigate them that makes the difference. And in my opinion, at the core, it is really all about faith. None of us know how our days will unfold, but if we continue to build positive connections to friends and family and then lean in (as my friend, Ilse says) to our HP – aka Higher Power, that’s where the magic unfolds.

As for Doug…stay tuned for lessons learned on the path toward independence.

Zen in Action

On that note, the Spice Girls are out in full force this April and spreading a little Zen! Starting with the Susan B. Komen Metastatic Breast Cancer event in Chicago on Friday, April 12th – it’s open to the public so please come!  Followed by a visit to one of our favorite butcher shops, Zier’s Prime Meats on Saturday, April 13th and rounding out the weekend at the Lake Forest Foodie Faire on Sunday, April 14th. On Saturday, April 20th, Melinda hits the road and heads to Paducah, Kentucky to spread some some Zen at Midtown Market. On Thursday, April 25th we will be doing our 1st “B the Change” event raising funds for Search Inc. (at the Planet Access Company Store) during the Lincoln Square Wine Walk, Launching a new market, Lindy’s Downtown Market in Washington, Illinois and ending the month on Sunday, April 28th at Sugar Beet Food Co-op in Oak Park!

Zen Moment

“Two of the greatest gifts we can give our children are roots and wings…”

-Author Unknown