For Better or Worse
1984 was an auspicious year – not because of George Orwell’s famous novel but because I met Steve Barnhart.
We were seated across from each other at a Chicago “hangout spot”, largely populated by new college graduates like ourselves, called Butch McGuire’s. We were introduced through the friends who we were with that night, and while we both agree (looking back) that we had an instant connection, we also agree that it seemed it was not meant to be – he was sitting next to my friend, who he had been dating, and I was headed off the following week to see my college boyfriend in California.
With the help of some fortuitous events, we crossed paths 2 months later, free from the companions of that first evening, went on a date. I can still remember what I wore – a wild animal print dress, moon earrings, and tall leather boots. Our conversation was so effortless and familiar that it felt like we were meant to be together. 2 years to the day from that first date we got married.
That was 35 years ago.
While I’ve written about my children, causes that are near/dear to my heart, parents, siblings, and friends, I have never written a post about the man who has been by my side. He has packed up hundreds of spice packets for Farmers markets, read countless bedtime stories to our children, hurried back from work to coach baseball for Phil (a sport he loves), soccer (a sport he never played) to enjoy more time with Lucy (our daughter) and an annual trip out East to take Doug to camp. Two years ago, he decided to become a beekeeper determined to save both his apple trees and our planet -– he’s the kind of guy you could call when you needed help at 3 a.m.
If you’ve followed my Zen journey for the past 10 years, you’ll know that my life has been filled with unexpected twists/turns/highs and lows. He has stood beside me every step of the way.
As I tried to think about the best 35th anniversary gift I could give him, I decided to needlepoint him a biography belt of our life together. Over the past 12 months I sat and stitched. With each stitch I very intentionally thought of a moment we had shared. Some of them were happy and some were sad. Some involved travel and others quiet Sunday afternoons (at least I think there were some of those).
Like any practice what did I discover?
- Resistance…….Getting started was difficult
- Commitment…I began slowly by carving out an hour each week to sit & stitch
- Relaxation…….In time I found myself looking forward to that hour and began to carve out more time each week.
- Community…. I found needlepointing to be unexpectedly social. I took my project everywhere and found a community of kindred spirits.
- Satisfaction…I felt immense satisfaction as my project came to close and the best part my husband loved the sentiment behind my work.
I also found needlepointing similar to the feeling I experience when I chop my veggies. I was sharing that feeling with Eilene Issacs, owner of my local needlepoint store, The Canvasback one afternoon and she shared an article which describes the mental health benefits of needlepointing. For more detail, I’m sharing a link to Needlepoint is a great way to cope with uncertainty.
If you are interested in getting started – check out Loopcanvas.com! Amy and Sarah Blessing have brought a modern twist to this ancient craft.
As for ZEN, Jane will be sharing a month holiday themed recipes.
Holiday Gifting
We bundled up our whole spice infusions this year into handy packs of 6 for you to share with the favorite foodie in your life! They are a perfect stocking stuffer, teacher gift or create your own gift box for a friend.
Author’s note…
In case you missed it we were chosen by Drew Barrymore for her holiday gift collection. It was such a surprise and we were so grateful for the recognition! And PLEASE vote! We are in the running for the 2021 Best Foodie Find on USA Today.
Zen Moment
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche
