Social Distancing
As March unfolded, it brought with it a new term: social distancing.
We’ve all experienced or participated in a form of social distancing. Whether due to an illness, loss of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job or an extreme parenting challenge. We can feel separated from the flow of life and even our dearest friends don’t know what to do. While moments like these offer an opportunity for compassion, they also require one to embrace vulnerability. And few of us want to feel vulnerable…it’s uncomfortable.
I remember a painful moment in Publix Grocery Store — over 20 years ago — when my (then) four-year-old lay down in the check-out aisle in a prone position, screaming at the top of his lungs, when he realized the “coveted” red popsicles (filled with food dye) would not be going into our shopping cart. The memory of an “all-call” for additional baggers to help us at check-out was seared into my memory along with the vision of shoppers in a full-blown panic scramble to other check-out lanes. I also remember the compassion of one young, teenage bagger, who asked, “Is there anything I can do to help you, ma’am?” All I could muster was a whispered “Please bag faster…”
We now find ourselves living in a unique period of history. While some may feel somewhat buoyed by the opportunity of forced hibernation, others are experiencing a profound sense of sadness and loss. I have a son who is an aspiring musician and in the food service industry. All of his friends have been laid off. None with a back-up plan. Rarely has our country or the world, experienced a moment where we are all so interdependent.
In an effort to accept my “new normal” I decided to embrace “social distancing” as a way to expand my mindfulness practice. With that spirit in mind, I’m sharing some of my observations…
FaceTime – My darling friend, Kate, and I have transitioned our Wednesday morning breakfast to an afternoon coffee using FaceTime. We still get to share highlights of the week, and I love seeing her face. Our 45+ year friendship continues to thrive. FT actually works!
Zoom – I’ve experienced more zoom calls in the last two weeks than I have in the last year. I’ve embraced zoom, so much that Jane and I are planning to create two virtual cooking classes to support parents who have children with autism.
What’s App – Our daughter lives in Europe, so our “BarnhartFam group chat” has become a way for us to send a simple SOS: “Can we connect?”
Zen Team – Our monthly call expanded in March, as we all took time to listen to each other’s stories. We also came together to share ideas on how we would continue to operate our business in a retail landscape that changed so abruptly. I’m continually blessed to be surrounded by such a kind, loving and smart group of women.
Social Isolation – I have had my own home office for eight years so in an odd way, my life hasn’t changed that much. And, in some ways I’m enjoying a shared moment of social isolation, as so many colleagues are working from home.
Board games – We turned our dining room table into a backgammon/banana grams space. My 3-person social group (husband/son/I) have enjoyed some really nice family time.
Family – My niece, Julie and I have had fun sharing posts and are hoping to do an Instant Pot class for her Barre3 studio. I also had my first virtual “cocktail hour” with my siblings.
Dan Harris – I’ve been following his Ten Percent Happier work for years and in the midst of this crisis he has offered a free meditation on-line with some of the world’s best meditation teachers. It’s 2 pm CST each day and has offered me an opportunity for a mid-day reset.
Slow Cooking – After our children left the nest, Steve and I settled into the “Zen of Sushi Kushi” (our beloved Japanese restaurant). But our new “social distance” practice has brought all of us back to the kitchen to slow down, slow cook and gather around the table for a delicious home-cooked meal.
Sisters – I have been using my exercise time each afternoon to meet my sister and walk our dogs together (Yes, she is part of my social isolation group.) We have seen each other daily, which has been an unexpected blessing.
IPhone-Texting and emailing have been replaced with actual voice calls – catching up with old friends, touching base with family and friends: sharing the daily rituals of each other’s lives.
Interestingly, the World Health Organization started using the new term, “physical distancing,” last week. “We’re changing to say ‘physical distance,’ and that’s on purpose because we want people to still remain connected.”
Social connections are more important than ever. For once, technology can deliver its full potential and keep us socially connected while physically apart.
My sister shared a wonderful article from the Washington Post that reminded me that in the midst of this situation we have blessings:
“Can the quiet serve some constructive purpose? Not the kind of purpose found in reorganizing your spice rack, but in living a better life. Can the silence also bring some contentment, serenity and peace? … We are facing an unprecedented threat, but facing it together, with medical advances beyond the dreams of previous eras. We can continue large chunks of our lives in virtual ways. We can be present to one another through extraordinary technologies. These are reasons for gratitude.” – Michael Gerson
As we grapple with “what’s next” I encourage ALL of us to be curious. This is a unique time in the history of mankind and, for whatever reason, we are living through this together. Let’s lean in and see what we can learn and discover. And socially connect, when you need a friend…
Chicago Autism Project
As I watch posts float around the internet about the “blessing of a bored child”, my heart goes out to every parent who has a child with autism in their home. This time is not a blessing for a child who needs an uninterrupted schedule or a parent who needs respite.
Since April is Autism Awareness Month, we are supporting the Chicago Autism Project by donating 20% of all ONLINE sales via our website. The Chicago Autism Project is a 501-3 C organization founded by Karen George and Quinn Niego.
After a heart-breaking phone call in 2018, the Chicago Autism Project was born. “We were contacted by a devastated mom who couldn’t afford the services her son so desperately needed,” George recalls about the conversation that sparked the founding of the Chicago-based charity.
Since the founding of the Chicago Autism Project, Karen George and Quinn Niego have provided over $200,000 worth of grants and scholarships to families affected by autism. They have also provided over 15,000 hours of clinical therapy.
Autism Threads – across the pond!
#WeAreAllinitTogether- we are also supporting Jane’s good friend, Trish O’Dwyer founder of Autism Threads. Trish’s bags/t-shirts are so relevant into today’s understanding of what it’s like to feel socially isolated. Worth a view!
Zen Moment
“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional….Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”
~ Brené Brown
